Everyone thinks they can pass judgement
A couple weeks ago we went to the kids’ dentist for a standard cleaning. Something we would do whether they had diabetes or not, but more importantly now because they do. With diabetes comes the added risk factors of tooth decay, gum disease, dry mouth, etc. They will occasionally need to drink juice in the night, which can contribute to cavities, not to mention the extra sugar needed during the day to treat lows. Teeth are something we have to pay close attention to.
The kids’ dentists are great. They’re gentle, kind, and know all about the kids and their Type 1. There’s been a bit of turnaround in the office in the past year, and on this particular visit Walker had a new dentist checking over her mouth. She looked at her chart, looked at Walker, and then said “What was her last A1c?”
“8.2”, I matter-of-factly replied.
“Huh…is her endocrinologist concerned about getting that down?”
“Sure. We’re always working to get it lower,” was my reaction.
At which point I instantly regretted what I said. What I wished I said was “Oh, I’m sorry, do you have her chart from her endocrinologist in front of you? Do you realize that at her visit 6 months ago she was 8.7, so the fact that she dropped to 8.2 is something we celebrated with her doctor? Do you know that she’s going through a growth spurt, and trying to keep up with her fluctuating hormones is a Sisyphean task? Do you know that we’ve been trying to find a carb ratio that works for breakfast, while simultaneously trying to find a basal rate that can tackle that weird 2 am spike? Do you have ANY FREAKING IDEA how difficult it is for a little one with the metabolism of a hummingbird and the attention of a squirrel to have a “controlled” blood sugar?”
Every damn mother of a child with Type 1 knows the risks and complications that are in store for their children. It keeps us up at night, literally. Blood sugar too high?….there’s irreparable damage being done to the kidneys, eyes, and liver. Low blood sugar?….the brain will be starved of oxygen, neural synapses will diminish, and cognitive functioning will take a huge hit. This is just the tip of the iceberg. We’re walking a minute-by-minute tightrope for our children, and meanwhile we’re trying to hand them off the balancing pole.
So when a dentist I’ve never met attempts to offer advice on A1c control, I take offense.
But as quickly and acutely as I was offended, I just as quickly need to let it pass through me. Because every day someone passes judgment on what I, what WE, do/don’t do/should do/should have done. Everyone has a friend with an aunt who has diabetes, or a magic cure, or a well-meaning cautionary tale. Trust me, we’ve heard them all.
And when you offer your advice we likely smile, say thank you, and get back to the reality of caring for our loved one with Type 1.
